Questions Answered: Geekiness, Matt Damon, My Engagement, and Why We Don't "Vax"

I am so excited about today.

I love answering silly questions. (Well, and a few serious questions, too. But mostly fun, silly ones.)

Today, I'm answering the questions you all asked back in February right before we moved (and I dropped off the face of the Earth for about a month.)

Now, before I launch into what I think about the new TV show Smash - love it, by the way - let me just say, these answers of mine are candid. Honest. And just my opinion. They aren't meant as an attack or a critique. They are just how I feel.

So those of you that loathe the musical series Smash? Well, please don't send me hate mail.

***

Let's start out with some questions from Anonymous. (So nice to be talking about a friendly, nice Anonymous comment, isn't it?) who asked what I was like in high-school.

Oh, high-school. I was a total loser. And I say that lovingly. Honest to goodness, I was not cool. I was in a college-prep magnet program, so while I went to a public school, I was in classes with a very small group of kids for all four years.

We were pretty nerdy. OK, totally nerdy. Now, I did have my fair share of athletics. I was on the swim team, and I was the captain of the water polo team. But I had practice for five-ish hours a day. Which basically meant school and sports were my life. I was just cool enough not to get picked on. But I was way too lame to be even considered for the "popular" crowd.

But it was pretty awesome. I liked it. I had nice friends and a great time. Sure, I was kind of a geek. But I know being relatively low on the popularity totem pole helped me build character.

Anonymous also asked who my celebrity crush is.

Since I saw him in Good Will Hunting, I've been obsessed with Matt Damon.

I find him adorable. And endearing. He's the only reason I saw, and enjoyed, The Bourne Identity movies.

When he married his wife and had children, I found him even more lovable.

I adore the man. He's my total celebrity crush and has been for a long time. No one - other than my dreamy, family-man hubby - holds a candle to Matt.

Now, let's take a serious break. Lindsay asked, as a fellow "non-vax-ing" parent, what my current stance and thoughts on vaccines are.

To date, my decision not to vaccinate Ella was the single hardest decision I have ever made as a parent. I have spent weeks reading books and research on the topic. I have cried tears of doubt and worry. And I have listened to conflicting advice from so many doctors, I can no longer keep them all straight.

It's terrifying, to consider your child dying from a disease that you chose not to vaccinate them against. Or, on the other hand, to consider them dying from a vaccine you actually chose to give them.

Then, you have to deal with the stigma of being a non-vaxxing family. Of having someone actually call your child a "filthy little germ-breeder." Of people flippantly saying, "You know they disproved all that autism crap, right?"(For the record, autism is the least of my concerns when it comes to vaccine injuries. It had very little to do with my decision at all.)

Anyway, it's not fun. And it's something that, at this point, I really don't talk about. I have some friends who agree and disagree with me, with whom I can have a vaccine-related conversation, as we have mutual respect for each other and our efforts to research choices for our children. But I avoid it at all costs in most conversations because I just don't want to go there. I don't want to explain myself anymore.

The fact is, there is research on all sides of this argument. To me, the research convinced me not to vaccinate. Our pediatrician supports this decision and educates his other patients about their options when it comes to not vaccinating or delaying vaccinating.

To very briefly summarize why I made my decision: Ella is breast-fed. Ella is at home with me and not in daycare. Ella has a family history of allergies on one side and a vaccine injury on the other. The two most concerning illnesses known to cause death in children under 1 in the United States - and in our day and age - that we currently vaccinate for have proven only fatal in children under 2 months of age in almost all cases nation-wide - before a child is even vaccinated for them anyway. Most of the other vaccines available are not for diseases I have a problem with my child getting - flu, chicken pox, etc. In addition, in recent years, most vaccine-preventable illnesses are actually spread in recent outbreaks (of RSV, pertussis, and polio) by vaccinated children, so I'm also not worried about her spreading something to my husband, my future children, and myself (I, for the record, have received very few vaccinations myself - all of which I got after the age of 15.) In fact, Ella is more likely to be infected by a vaccinated child than infect someone else.

In addition, I take extra measures to boost our entire family's immune system. And I've received excellent support from our pediatrician.

Now, have Ella and I been sick? Sure. But it's never been serious. Not once. Fighting a virus and winning builds immunity. Ella got RSV last month - every other child we knew had it and many were hospitalized; some progressed to pneumonia, and almost all of them had a fever - and with no conventional treatment, she never even got a fever. Other than a phlegmy cough, which didn't even slow her down but for a day or two, she was happy and healthy and normal. Her immune system is strong. Very strong. Now, I realize that this is totally anecdotal, and I wouldn't expect others to take Ella's health as proof for or against anything. But for me, Ella's health is my prime concern. So for me, watching her barely flinch from a highly infectious disease is proof positive I've got a strong kid. (For the record, I am aware many vaccinated children are strong. But I simply don't make it a habit to track other people's children unless I'm specifically asked to.)

Currently, I do not agree with the present American vacination system as a whole. I have seen interviews and met too many children with vaccine-induced injuries to think it's OK. I wish we vaccinated more like other Western countries do. But that's just my opinion, and it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. And, while I don't like how our government and system handle vaccinations, I don't judge or even dislike individuals for vaccinating their children.

I know I am in the minority, and I know a lot of other mothers have done their own research and made a different decision than me. Which is totally fine. I have respect for anyone who makes an informed choice, even if it's not the choice I'd make.

That being said, I don't want to belabor the research here. As I said, I've read extensively on both sides of the vaccine debate, as I'm sure many an informed mother has, and I'm happy to engage in a private conversation with anyone interested in it, just not here on my blog.

So, in summary, will Ella ever receive a vaccination? Maybe. It won't be until after the age of 4, if she does. (Research shows that the later you vaccinate, the less likely you are to have an adverse reaction.) But honestly, if I can avoid it, I will. It's not a method of a medicine I'm comfortable with. Even after all I've looked into on the subject, my gut still has the same reaction it did when I first started on this parenting journey: Vaccines are not something I want for my children.

The research, to me, does not make a case for vaccinating, in Ella's case, and while I respect every parents' right to do as they see fit when it comes to their kids, I also reserve the right to do what I truly feel is best for my child, as well.

So now, onto lighter topics. Stribble29 and Cafe Moka want to hear how I met my husband and our engagement story.

Way back in my first few months of blogging, I shared how I met a guy I thought was named Larry. Turns out, his name wasn't Larry. His name was Patrick, and he's now my husband. You can read all about that here.

And as for our engagement story? Well, let's just say we had already discussed, i.e., pretty much already agreed, we'd be getting married before we started dating, so there wasn't a question of if we'd get married, but when.

So, about a year after we'd started dating (with an intent to get married), on our one-year anniversary, my husband came to take me out to lunch between jobs. (I was in grad school and working 50 hours a week at the time.)

While I was getting ready, he tied the ring box to my puppy - the very puppy you can now see on my sidebar as the 100-pound wonder known as Marvin the Dog.

I came downstairs in my townhouse to find Marv wandering about with this thing on his neck, and I got a little ticked.

Side note: The hubs has a penchant for buying useless, gimmick-y crap. And I thought this was another one of those things - a flea zapper or something. (Don't ask. I'm weird.)

Anyway, I grabbed Marvin and mumbled, "What did you do?"

And then I realized what I was holding. And the hubby, laughing, said, "So, will you?"

And, of course, I did.

Now, Joeylee asked how many kids we want to have.

Since before our wedding, we always agreed that we wanted four kids. My hubby is one of four and liked it. I'm one of three, and I loved my siblings, but I hated being the odd woman out. (I was the only girl.)

So, I insisted that we have an even number of children. And two kids isn't enough for the hubs or I; we're definitely big "kid" people.

So four it is.

That being said, I don't have a definite end note on four. If, after four babies, we don't "feel" done, then maybe we won't be. I'm not sure. I hate the thought of not being able to have anymore babes; to write off the option for one more blessing.

So, will we have 19 kids and counting? No. No way. That's not financially or emotionally responsible. I cannot be the mom I want to be and the mom my kids deserve to that many children. (Not saying others can't, but as a friend of mine once said, "You have to wake up every morning [as a military wife] and go, 'I got this.' And if you can't say that, then you have too much on your plate - children included.")

But maybe we'll have one (or two?) more than four. I don't know. Heck, we may not even be able to have that many. Only God knows what the next few years hold for us. But let's just say we want and pray for four, but we're not dismissing one or two more.

(We've also strongly considered adopting, though it would be later in life, as we wouldn't adopt a baby. We'd prefer to adopt an older child - a kid who often doesn't have a chance to leave the foster-care system. To do that, we'd need time and money to help that child, which is why that won't be happening any time soon.)

Joeylee also wanted to know what I do in my spare time.

Um, what free time?

Oh, OK, I've got some. A little. Very little. But it is there.

Honestly, I blog. At the end of my day, I sit down, turn on some silly television, make a cup of tea, and write for this blog. While I do receive payment for some of my blogging opportunities - which I guess could classify this as a job and a hobby - I also enjoy reading blogs in my spare time, too. So that part is pure hobby, I guess.

I actually enjoy reading anything in my spare time. I'm a reader. I adore books. I wish I had more free time so I could read more, honestly.

I also like cooking, exercising, scrapbooking, and being an active participant in the military spouse community. (Well, I did. Now that we're at a new base, I'm still working on finding the active military spouse community. But we're getting there.)

Now, Karen wants to know where I buy Ella's cloth diapers.

I buy them a bunch of places. My recent favorite was a locally owned store where we used to live in South Carolina. But I also order online and have even gotten some cheaper ones on eBay.

A great way I built up my stash, though, was through several deal-a-day baby sites, like Baby Steals, Baby Half-Off, and Eco-Baby Buys. These sites allow you to subscribe via e-mail, and they send you a bargain-priced baby item on super-de-duper sale every day of the week. (Most of their cloth diapers are marked down to half the price they retail for.) They all have small and big cloth-diaper companies as clients, so it's also a good way to try out a diaper without investing a fortune.

They also have a ton of other great products they feature on a daily basis, but if you subscribe to one or two of them, you can guarantee that a cloth diaper offer (or an offer for something cloth-diaper-related, like detergent, wet bags, or inserts) will cross your inbox at least once or twice a week.

For the record, this is truly my opinion, and I was not paid for it. I think these sites can be used for great deals and have done so myself. With my own money.

Karen also wanted to know my favorite band.

I adore the now disbanded Nickel Creek.

They are an amazing folk band, and I often listen to their albums and certain songs on repeat. I played them at my wedding. Extensively. I love them that much.

And to this day, I always hold out hope that they'll get back together and make more beautiful music.

***

OK, I've made it through about half the questions, and this post is already getting a bit lengthy. So let's pick back up tomorrow and finish this shin-dig then, shall we?

Then, I'll get to talk about my family, my husband's family, my favorite food, whether Ella is finally eating food, what Ella's actual name is (and how we came up with it), and when we'll start trying for Baby No. 2.

Until then, if I missed a question or you want to ask one, feel to include that, too.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!

Me, My Family, and Some Famous People: Part 1

I'm not a big celebrity follower.

I don't read the gossip mags; I don't check People or US Weekly's Web sites; heck, I don't even follow celebrities on Twitter.

Frankly, I don't see the attraction.

When your life consists of corralling high-school students 10 months out of the year, celebrity and all that it entails pales in comparison.

I'm too busy living in the moment. (Teehee. Get it? Get it?)

Plus, I'm also pretty oblivious to all things celebrity.

I have approximately zero "I Met A Famous Person" stories.

Well, one time, I drove by Hulk Hogan on the interstate, turned to my college friend and said, "I think that's Hulk Hogan," before I returned to eating SweetTarts and jamming out to The Cranberries.

Other than that, though, I'm pretty celebrity-run-in free.

So when our dear friends Nigel and Hannah invited us to attend the John Mayer concert this weekend, I was excited. When I found out how good are seats were, I was doubly excited. And when I found out it would allow us to spend some wonderful time with our dear friends, I was triply excited.

But I didn't really think about the fact that I was going to be pretty darn close to John Mayer, guitar-playing heart-throb and major (and sometimes controversial) celebrity.

Except, in fact, we were.

And it was awesome.

Regardless of how you feel about good, old, politically outspoken J. Mayer, he's quite the impressive musician. I was blown away by his talent, as well as by his natural hilarity and sense of sarcastic, yet comic, timing.

I also gathered a few other observations about John Mayer, who, I might add, was close enough to me that I'm fairly certain we held eye contact for a good minute of one song, which only ended when I turned to the hubs and said, "I'm fairly certain John Mayer was just looking at right at me. I hope you're not jealous."(Apparently, the hubs was not.)

So, without further ado, I give you, Several Things I Want to Tell John Mayer (When We Meet Again and He Tells My Husband - Very Respectfully - That I Am a Charming Woman.)

1. "John Mayer, you have a freakishly tiny hiney."
Look, I'm not the kind of girl that checks out another man's hiney. I have values. But it was hard not to notice John's teeny tiny behind. Its very itsy-bitsy nature made it hard not to stare at it. Even my husband noticed Mayer's teensy tush. It was so small, it was just weird. Then again, Mr. Mayer's insistence on shaking his hips rhythmically to his guitar rifts really made it hard to avert your eyes from his back-end.

Frankly, you can't blame me.

2. "John Mayer, you own more guitars than God."
OK, that may be a slight exaggeration. But seriously, the man had so many guitars on stage that he seemed to be using two or three a song without repeating. He even had his own "guitar tuner," who worked in a kneeling position, holding a flashlight between his teeth, to repair John's guitars when they seemed not to be to Mr. Mayer's liking. And, while I know that I'm not a music aficionado, I have to wonder, "Why so many, John? Why so many?" Seriously, how many guitars does one man need? Does it really make a big difference? Or do you just enjoy making your roadies work extra hard?

Shame on you, John. Guitar gluttony is not becoming.

3. "John Mayor, if you are really dating Taylor Swift, I'm deeply saddened. And a little enraged."
I didn't know about this little Mayer-Swift rumor until my husband filled me in on it while we were heading toward the concert. When I found out, I blurted out, and I quote, "No way. No how. He's not that seedy. Wasn't Jennifer Aniston enough?" (Another concert-goer behind me gave me the old "Amen, sister!" after my exclamation, and we then exchanged the well-practiced Gaze of Female Understanding: The "Oh, Men!" Eye Roll.) But later, another girl behind me, holding up the "John, 'You Belong With Me,'" sign, begged to differ.

Apparently, Johnny is that seedy.

To me, this screams Creepy Lolita-Conquest Material. It's the classic older celebrity man conquering the pretty, innocent, young country singer for all the world to see just. because. he. can. Which - again - is shady. And terrible for poor Taylor. And for John. And for the general teeny-bopper following both of them have gathered over the past few years.

Come on, you two, think about the kids.

4. "John Mayer, if you have an opening, would you consider hiring me as a back-up singer?"
I am mystified by back-up bands. I love the back-up bass player; I'm in awe of the back-up guitarist. And don't even get me started on the drummer. I love me some drummer-watching.

To be honest, I think I'd make an excellent addition to any back-up band. I can head-bob with wanton abandon, sing along as needed, and wear glittery T-shirts bedazzled with art right from the cover of John Mayer's newest album.

But considering I can't play guitar, bass or drums - and the fact that my middle-school flute-playing skills have long since expired - I think my only option is to stand behind John and sway, swinging my arms from side to side and going, "Ooh, ooh, ooh ooh!"

However, let me tell you, I can work a crowd and semi-carry a tune. I also look fabulous in glitter.

John, please, take a chance on me.

***

In all seriousness, we had a great time. And we were beyond blessed to spend a wonderful weekend with our dear friends. Both the hubs and I treasured the time with them. (Thanks, Nigel and Hannah!)

However, my celebrity experience was trumped. Because while I was en route to standing within shouting distance from John Mayer for two straight hours, my brother called me.

From Washington, D.C.

Where he was currently interacting with some big-time politicians.

And where he had met some other big-time people over the weekend.

Like, seriously, big-time.

Bigger than Taylor Swift. Bigger than John Mayer.

Big-time.

My little brother trumped me, Mayer, and all that our special weekend entailed.

So tune in for Part 2 tomorrow to find out exactly who my brother rubbed shoulders with over his fun weekend.

Until then, I'll be practicing my back-up vocals for John Mayer's next tour.

Me me me me me me me me me me...

***

Happy Monday everyone!