Hello, Social Networking. Can somebody pass me the Kool-Aid?

Well, now I've gone and done it.

I made a big brouhaha over the fact that I while I love blogging, I fear almost all other technological advancements and social networking techniques.

I ranted about the anxiety I receive just when logging onto Facebook.

I waxed poetic about the fact that I really, truly don't have anything interesting to say to the World Wide Web all the time.

I've mentioned time and again that the only thing "brevity" and I have in common is that we both start with a "B."

And then I threw all that out the window....

...and joined Twitter.

Oh yes, apparently, now, I'm Tweeting.

I don't know what did it: The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out); or the fact that all the cool bloggers are doing it, and I have an inability to resist peer pressure.

You all cracked me.

Maybe it was the blog comments, like, "Britt, I Tweeted about it. Didn't you see that yesterday? Oh, wait, that's right. You don't have Twitter."

Or perhaps it was those of you who found my secret and inactive Twitter account I started a while back, just to see what (gasp!) Oprah was up to. Except I couldn't figure it out, so I just abandoned it, with nary a Tweet.

Maybe it was the bloggers who score big time in almost every giveaway I enter, because, apparently, Tweeting about them gives you an extra 47 entries to win.

Or maybe it was my friend Sam, over at The Ruby Turtle Hippie Times, who started sending me weekly e-mails entitled, "Reason #27 You Should Twitter."

I don't know what did it, exactly.

Except now, I'm doing it.

You all win.

I'm Tweeting.

So, if you'd like to follow me, and you'd like me to follow you, you can find me here, all a-twitter about Twittering.

I'm "brittanylaughs," and I'm going to attempt to crush all my whack-a-doodle thoughts into 140 characters on a semi-regular basis.

This is going to be interesting.

Now somebody pass me the Kool-Aid.

***

OK, in all sincerity, I'm going to need some help with this. For those of you that are more experienced Tweeters, I have some questions:

How often do you tweet? What makes up a really good tweet? And how often are you expected to comment on other people's Tweets?

Also, how do I get my Tweets onto a sidebar feature on my blog?

And lastly, if I'm really going to do this, will you all promise not to abandon me out here when I start Tweeting about my exciting life, a la, "Cooking meatloaf and wearing fuzzy socks. I'm rocking this kitchen like a concert!"

You'll still love me, right?

Right?

***

P.S. I'm sorry if I got everyone's hopes up yesterday about something more exciting than Twitter, i.e., a baby. I should have known better than to drop a teaser line like I do. Shame on me! And I promise, when I have baby news, I will spring it on you out of nowhere. No teasers for this girl. News like that deserves a shock-and-awe approach!

P.P. S. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Thank the Lord for Fridays!

Terrified of the T Word

All right. I'm just going to say it.

I'm a reluctant technology user.

Honestly, I am.

I know.

It's like speaking blasphemy in the blogosphere to admit that, and if you click "Stop Following" on all your tech-savvy iPhone touch-screens right now and never visit my humble little blog again, I don't blame you.

But I am. It's the truth.

Technology, and more importantly, it's ability to keep us all inter-connected 24-7, freaks me out.

Proof positive?

I was a blog stalker for more than a year before I started my own blog. A year!

And why?

I was totally afraid of the commitment. Afraid that I'd be four posts in, get tired of it, and quit.

And trust me, if you had my track record, you would have a fear of (journaling) failure, too.

Do you know I own a box - A BOX - full of journals and diaries from my childhood, all of which have two pages filled up. And then? Blank paper as far as the eye can see. I, apparently, had trouble following through.

But I beat the odds. Just this once. Turns out, I love blogging. I do it daily. It's my form of relaxation, entertainment, pleasure and socialization. This journal will not be left blank.

I'll admit, I was surprised by my love of this new online journaling process. I was surprised how much each comment, post and new friend made my day.

And because of that, I'm pretty sure I won't find anything else like it. Lightening doesn't strike the same place twice.

Which is why I'm going down, kicking and screaming and fighting, fighting, fighting, when it comes to the T word.

Yes, that's right.

The T word.

The one that sounds like a mix between a bird's tweet and the pitter-patter of little feet.

Twitter.

Ah, yes. Twitter.

I do not, nor have I ever, tweeted.

Technically, I have an account. (I know some of you have found me.) I set it up a couple months back because I wanted to see something some celebrity had tweeted.

But as for me? I'm a complete Twitter newborn. You've never heard/read me summarize my happenings in 140 characters or less.

And I'm still not sure if I ever will.

I mean, the word limit alone freaks me out.

Short and sweet, I am not. Verbosity could be my middle name. I was the kid in high school who had to have page limits enforced on all school assignments. When I was home-schooled, I once wrote my mother a 16-page, SINGLE-SPACED book report. When I was all of a 11 years old.

I have a long-standing history with words and their overuse. I can't imagine it's going to go away overnight.

But even if I managed to reign in my War on Terseness, there's so many other potholes along the Twittering path.

For instance, am I really comfortable with the whole world watching/reading my every move? Do I want them knowing my deepest, darkest secret?

I mean, what if, (gulp) you all actually find out what I've been trying to hide from you all this time?

The sheer and utterly horrible fact that I. am. boring.

Like, totally dull.

For instance, just take today.

If I was really committed, and I had begun to tweet along with the changes in my day so far, I would have recorded the following:

6 a.m. Coffee pot not working. I am in serious trouble.
6:20 a.m. Rigged coffee pot to work with butter knife. Now running late.
6:45 a.m. How are there already children sitting outside my classroom?
7 a.m. Jammed the one working copier in the entire school. I'm going to be so popular when word gets out.
7:30 a.m. Is it weird to Tweet while using the teacher's restroom?
7:45 a.m. Class hasn't started, and I've already got a crying kid. No, wait, she's just shivering. In 100-degree weather.
8 a.m. I am Tweeting on the job. This is wrong.

Still awake? Yeah, I thought not.

Sure, maybe, with a little practice, I'd get better. Maybe I'd develop a knack for creating the world's cutest/funniest/most insightful Tweets.

But in the end, I'd still I'd have to constantly update them. Tweets do have an expiration date, I'm told.

And that, my friends, is a lot of pressure. How exactly would I do that while teaching my kids? Or working at the gym? Or lounging around on the floor of the house?

I love that we can pre-schedule posts on Blogger for this very reason. Because if it wasn't for that, I'd be coming at you live around midnight every evening. You know, when all of you young moms and professionals are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eager to do some light reading, I'm sure.

Then there's the simple fact that a Twitter account is just one more tech-savvy Trapper Keeper, one more Internet item that I have to keep organized, productive, interesting, and worthwhile.

I don't want my Twitter account to fall into various states of disrepair and neglect, much like its predecessors, who have up until this point been my connection to the outside world and simultaneously, the focus of my inner rage.

Sometimes, I want to throw my phone at the wall when it rings. Incessantly. Over every little thing.

I live in fear of that stupid buzz that lets me know that I have missed "14 new text messages," or better yet, "8 new voicemails."

I dread that moment when you tell someone, "Um, I actually can't talk right now," but they obviously didn't listen or don't care, because baby! they CAN talk right now! And they will. Or they'll text. Same difference.

And then there's always e-mail, the evil step-sister of social networking and 24-7 communication.

From my extensive data collection and research on my own inbox, I'd estimate that I receive approximately 3,598 e-mails a day, most of which are work-related.

All you teachers out there understand. An e-mail for a teacher is never a good thing. No one delivers praise and support via e-mail. That, they'll do in person. E-mail is the shield of protection in the academic world.

To put it midly, e-mail and I are like Pavlov's dogs and the ringing bell. Except I cry instead of salivate every time I hear "You've got mail."

And don't get me started on Facebook. I'm the worst Facebook-er ever. I don't change my profile. I don't upload photos. I rarely ever search for new friends. And the only people who seem to want to chat it up with me on that thing are men and women I supposedly "went to high school with" but have no recollection of ever meeting. I'm not so sure all is well in Facebook land, at least on my little piece of the social-networking pie.

So when I say blogging works for me, and is the only thing that has, I mean it.

I love you guys so much my heart breaks for you when life gets hard and rejoices with you when it brings happiness. You don't stress me out. In fact, I can't get enough of you all.

Which, again, is exactly why I'm back at this place.

Back in this space where I'm beginning to question my own methods, my own stay-put-and-wait-till-they-work-out-all-the-kinks-and-the-terrain-is-safe attitude.

Because I've watched you, my fellow bloggers, the wonderful people who have restored a little bit of my faith in technology, fall prey to the T word one by one.

You all are Twittering.

You all have crossed over.

You all are having fun, silly, semi-private conversations that I know nothing about!

While I'm still back here, churning my own butter and writing archaic blog posts that lack the quick wit of a 140-character joke, you all are the cool kids, hanging out, drinking punch and running for student body president.

I think it's safe to say I've developed a little bit of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out.)

Take a couple of weeks ago, when I inadvertently read a bit of a nice, friendly exchange between my dear bloggy friends Gina and Brittany on Twitter.

I actually got a little jealous.

Yes, jealous. Me, a full-grown woman, jealous of another two, full-grown women, who I'm pretty sure simply wished each other a good morning.

Like I said, FOMO.

And said FOMO is driving me forward, toward a place I'm not entirely comfortable, but a place, nonetheless, where I'm told there'll be lots of friendly faces.

I'm standing, currently, on the precipice between Twitter and The Technology of Yore.

Wondering, just wondering, if I should toe over the edge.

So, I'm turning to you all.

Do you think I should Twitter? Why? Do you think Twitter is a reasonable thing to keep up with? Do you find it takes away the enjoyment of blogging? Any of you out there old-school hold outs like myself? Why?

Anyone? Anyone?

Sigh. Everyone's probably already on Twitter this morning.

And the FOMO worsens.

***

Happy Thursday everyone!

Also, take a second and go check out my friend Katie's fall scarves swap!

It's a fun, easy, fashionable swap that everyone everywhere can benefit from! Go on over, say hi to the wonderful Katie, and sign up! I'll "see" you over there myself;)