I Feel...

...totally excited that so many of you linked up Monday. It was awesome to be in such great company (and not care that my house was a mess even a little bit!)

...amazingly touched that so many of you offered prayers and help and friendship after yesterday's post. Some of you all live near bases that, before, we didn't really want to be stationed at, but I know now that if we are, I can expect at least a few mamas and girls I can meet and hang with. That, in and of itself, is huge for my psyche right now.

...pretty bad that, sometimes, I fill Ella's day with chores, etc. I drag her from one room to the other, doing laundry, folding clothes, sweeping floors. I give her toys and things to play with, and I talk to her a lot of the time, but no baby wants to watch me mop my bathroom. Ugh. I feel like I'll never find the perfect balance.

...slightly sad that I'm not teaching anymore. On Pinterest, I follow a lot of you amazing teachers, and you're always pinning up great ideas and projects and classroom organizational charts, and, man, I kind of miss all that. I find myself "liking" and re-pinning a ton, in case we decide to home-school Ella, and I can incorporate them then. But right now, it makes me miss my old "kids."

...teary-eyed. Because speaking of old "kids," one of my former students, who is a junior in college, wrote on Facebook "I miss Mrs. C [that's me] and [two other teachers she loved.]" You can't do that to this over-tired new mama without making me cry. Whomever said all young adults are trouble didn't meet some of my favorite students.

...incredibly relieved that my husband is now back to working a day shift through our move. I actually don't mind him working nights, but it was getting taxing, especially because, once Ella goes to bed, I've taken to pacing about my house, taking stock of what we have, and figuring out the best way to get it all to, say, Guam.

...pretty darn relieved I didn't start the 18 billion crafting projects I have on my "to-do" list. I've been itching to, but now, I'd be moving them all, finished or not. So, thankfully, I can put it all on the back-burner and craft to my heart's content once we get to our new home. I'll need those projects then to keep me busy, anyway.

...freakishly horrified to start saying good-bye. You'd think I'd be good at it by now, but I'm not. I either break-down totally, sobbing and clinging onto someone for dear life, or I act like I almost don't care, because, in an effort to control myself, I sort of detach and pretend it's not happening. Neither option is great, I'm realizing. But with many hard good-byes on the horizon, I feel either/or coming on.

...scarily nauseous. For the past three days or so, I've been getting waves of nausea out of nowhere. Today's was bad enough that I ran to the bathroom, Ella in tow, plopped her in the door-way and laid between her and the potty, just in case. I didn't throw up, and I haven't any time over the past three days. But at least twice, I felt like I've gotten close. So, in short, I don't know what's going on. (And for all you baby-bump watchers, trust me, that's not it. As a girl who vomited for 20+ weeks pregnant, I know morning sickness. And this is not morning sickness.) Maybe it's the new pro-biotic I started last week, and I've even suspected the organic avocados I've been eating for the past few days. But I just don't think those are it, either. Honestly, I don't know what's going on. So, for now, I'm just grateful I own a ton of ginger tea - my go-to solution for nausea. This mama does not have the time to battle tummy issues right now.

...totally shocked that, Monday, I had to go shopping for Ella and had to buy her 12-month and 12-to 18-month sleepers and clothes. She's 7 months old, people. I am not ready to be shopping in the toddler section, but I am. Sure, all the outfits are too long on her - she's not terribly tall, after all. But thanks to her round-ness and even rounder diaper, she's too small to wear her 9-month sleepers anymore. I stuffed her into one last week, and she literally looked like a striped sausage. Bending her arms appeared taxing and almost impossible. So, it had to be done.

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So, tell me, how do you feel today?

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Happy Wednesday, everyone!