First, our local health-food store is now selling coconut-milk egg nog.
Second, the Duggars, of 19 Kids and Counting fame, are having baby No. 20.
And third, the child-molestation scandal that was uncovered at Penn State University had thickened, as infamous football coach Joe Paterno's integrity and job was called into question.
Upon learning of scenarios No. 2 and 3, I quickly forgot all about dairy-free holiday beverages. And so, after reading some news stories and watching some ESPN, I turned to my normal social media outlets to see what the buzz was.
I was shocked and appalled at what I found.
Literally, every other Tweet, post and message I read seemed to be vilifying the news-makers that day.
And I'm not talking about Joe Paterno.
There was Duggar-bashing going on the likes of which I've never seen. Telling the modest mother of 19 children that she needed to keep her "legs closed." Calling the Duggars unfit and irresponsible parents. Blaming the Duggar family for pulling a publicity stunt.
Now, here's the thing; I'm no Michelle Duggar. I hope and pray to God above I never have to give birth to 20 children. In fact, I think she may be a little loopy for wanting to go through it all again, in her mid-40s, after having a very difficult pregnancy and outcome with her last baby.
But I will stand by her right to give birth to as many children as she wants to. And, quite frankly, I think she's a pretty nice person, to boot.
Because the truth is? It's her body. It's their family. She's not raising her kids on government dollars. She's not relying on social services to rear her children.
Her current kids are upstanding, well-mannered citizens, whom she and her husband care and provide for adequately.
What can I say to that but "Go forth and prosper, Michelle, go forth and prosper." She's not telling me what to do with my body, so I'm not telling her what to do with hers.
And, yet, people? They were freaking out upon the Duggars announcement yesterday.
They were atwitter on Twitter. They were virtually slapping their faces on Facebook.
You'd have thought the Duggars had stolen money from the elderly. Participated in dog-fighting. Kicked a woman in a wheel-chair.
The way people were talking, you'd have thought someone had been raped.
Oh, wait, that's right.
That did actually happen.
To some poor 10-year-old boy in Pennsylvania. And, until recently, no one was saying a thing.
Worse yet, this poor victim, and 14 others like him, was attacked by a Penn State football coach, on Penn State property, and the man was allowed to retire and was then given continued access to children via his office on campus and the foundation he'd established for underprivileged youth.
And, from the looks of it, Penn State authorities and colleagues seemed to have covered it up.
Upon reading the details of the story yesterday, I found myself running to the bathroom, sick to my stomach, while my husband held our baby girl.
We are talking about a man who ruined the lives of children. Sweet, innocent children. God-given, wonderful, should-not-have-a-care-in-the-world children.
But 15 of their little lives are never to be the same again.
And, yet, the Duggars choose to give life to another sweet little soul, and we're going to call them "sexually depraved"?
Are you kidding me? Do we have our priorities that twisted?
From a personal perspective, on Monday alone, I - little, old, nobody me - received several hateful e-mails and comments telling me I was "full of myself." That I don't care about my child but only about my own "ego." That I'm wrong and hateful to the medical community and anyone who doesn't think like me, as a whole.
Why?
Because I wrote a blog post about an alternative solution to relieve baby ezcema.
Baby ezcema.
You'd have thought I'd slapped babies, instead.
But, honestly? It just leads me to ask, yet again, What is wrong with us?
We attack nobody bloggers for voicing concerns or making statements about what they believe; we call Michelle Duggar names for living out her truth and harming no one in the process.
But a man rapes 15 boys and almost gets away with it? And suddenly we're silent?
That's crap.
Absolute and utter crap.
Where's the public outcry for those kids? Where's the aggressive comments in defense of those boys? Where's the anger for those children?
We're so busy questioning one mom's right to give her child formula, and another mom's decision not to vaccinate her baby, that we're missing out on speaking up for the children who really need our help, our voices, and our time.
We're too busy making villains out of our fellow soldiers to fight the real war.
Shame on you. Shame on me. Shame on us.
So the next time you think of judging another caring mother, think again. The next time you accuse someone of not rearing their children properly, think again. The next time you get angry at some woman who doesn't do things like you do, think again.
There are bigger issues out there. More important places to place your energies.
Get a life. Get a grip. And get your priorities in check.
Let's stand up for the kids who really need it.
Let's put our words where they count.
Let's fight the real war.
***
Happy Wednesday, everyone.
27 comments:
Where I think that Michelle is strange for wanting that many kids & how I think it is another risk with her last pregnancy and her age, I admire her. I think she is a great mother and a sweet person! She has 19 great, well-behaved, God loving kiddos and that in my opinion, is success!!
And I think it is great that you are trying to use other alternatives to medicine vs just going with the doctors 'practicing medicine'. I may not agree with every aspect but I think it is your choice as a mom and it is great that you are doing what is best for your girl! :)
Sing it, sister!
I can't say that I agree with the Duggars' stance on having 20 kids (or their belief that women shouldn't wear pants), but they seem to be the nicest 21+ people on the planet. They seem genuinely excited for everyone that announces a pregnancy (whether it's them, their married son, or their cameraman). I've never seen an ounce of judgement from them on other people's choices. And, like you said, they take ZERO help from the taxpayers. They are completely self-sufficient.
We can look at them and shake our heads in wonderment, but to call them nasty names or say that they are horrible parents is just ludicrous.
As for you and your baby.... While I probably won't ever be seen with half the items you used on Ella (mainly because it would take me years to figure out what all it was), I still want to hug both your necks at the soonest possibility. WHEN are you coming down here, so I can meet your child?!?!?!
Big hugs to you. It's very easy to judge from behind a mask of anonymity--I'm sorry you had to deal with that. As for the Duggars, I honestly could not care less. It seems like they're able to take care of their kids physically, financially and emotionally, and that's all that matters to me. And the Penn State scandal is just horrifying :(
Well said!
I don't agree with everything you write, but I still like reading about what you do and your opinions. If your solution to eczema works, who cares how you arrived at it?? If we embraced the homeopathic cures a bit more and quit taking antibiotics for a cold, we might have fewer resistant bacteria.
Keep doing what you're doing, and keep writing about it. You are a good mama. Thanks for your perspective.
Amen. I think some people miss the point. . . We don't have to agree with the Duggars. We don't have to read to your child rearing or alternative medicine. But why must we have opinions on absolutely everything? My philosophy in life is to each, their own. The Duggars (as you mentioned) are raising their kids, their very respectful kids and aren't asking anyone to help pay for it. You aren't being disrespectful to people who disagree with how you do things. You are raising your child the way you were raised and with the values you believe in. Nothing wrong with that.
We are all different, and if the way we live isn't negatively impacting the lives of others, than who the hell cares, right? That's how I believe anyway.
And the news in this country has gotten ridiculous. What happened at Penn State did and is negatively impacting the life of others. Let's focus on that, and quit having so many opinions about everyone else's life.
Thank you. Yes. I agree wholeheartedly!
I could not care less about the Duggars but I do say this - they profit off of putting their family and lifestyle in everyone's living room and for that, they should expect comments and criticism. If you don't want someone to comment, keep your life private. I think its foolish to have a 20th kid at 45 but I know that child will receive more love and attention than about 99% of kids in this world.
But on to bigger things. I am disgusted by everything I have learned and heard about. Working with children all my life, it was part of our training to report SIGNS of abuse. And not just to our boss, but to authorities. That was just signs - like bruising or things a child might say. If you have SEEN and KNOW about child abuse/rape - you do something. Your hands are just as dirty.
I get so mad as I type, I think I should stop now - I'm about to shake!
Thanks for bringing this up, you are so right - we need to have our priorities set straight!
I know this isn't a comment you were expecting to receive on this post but I feel like it's an opening for me.
I'm a mom who breastfeeds, cloth diapers, prefers natural remedies and will do my own research before agreeing to everything our pediatrician says. There's nothing wrong with what you are doing. What is disheartening is your delivery. You come across very haughty and pompous in your blog about your decisions and child rearing ways and I think this turns off a handful of your readers. I hold the majority of your beliefs but still find myself shaking my head at how to come across when you write.
You don't have to take what I say to heart but just maybe think about how you are coming across the next time you compose a post. There's nothing wrong with being wrong, vulnerable or humble.
And that's just my insight...
I completely agree with you, Brittany! Peoplemeed to leave the Duggars alone and focus on the things that really matter!
Ugh, sorry for the typos. I'm not good at typing on my iPod. :-)
Thank you for writing this post. I really don't understand all the hate for the Duggars
My favorite post thus far! People sometimes forget we don't need to be harsh to express our opinion.
I love reading your blog, and think you have a talent for writing. You always paint a vivid picture.
But I have to agree with the Anonymous post above. I never questioned your ideas or beliefs but I'm not a fan of your delivery. Sometimes I'm not sure if it's just your writing style or personality. Crystal
I completely agree with this post! Amen.
I agree.
Hang in there mama.
I agree with you 100%!
Who cares what the Duggars do. They don't use government assistance to raise their children and they seem to be doing a better job raising them than a lot of other people in this country.
As for the Penn State thing, the people who knew about this should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and probably more. Turning a blind eye to such a vicious act against a child is just as bad as committing the crime. If someone would have stopped that monster when it was first found out many children wouldn't not have had to indure the disgustingness of that man.
And lastly to the people leaving nasty comments to you. If you don't like what your reading don't read it. There's a little X at the top of the screen. Click it and be done.
It makes me SO MAD when I hear people being so nasty to the Duggars. Jon and I obviously don't agree with all of their beliefs, but you cannot say that they're bad people or that they shouldn't have more children. When should they have stopped? After 2? 4? So, should we tell the rest of the kids they shouldn't have been born? I don't think so. I could go on and on for days, but I'll stop....
I did tweet about Michelle Duggar yesterday. I don't think I was overly harsh, and now I realize I probably shouldn't have said anything. We all make mistakes! But the reason I tweeted was because I simply worry about the safety of her and her unborn baby. When you make yourself a public figure by putting your entire family on TV every week, you have to develop some thick skin and know that people are going to criticize you. Unfortunately, we as bloggers also will receive unkind comments since we have put ourselves out there. It is sad that people are hurtful, and I'm truly sorry you've been hurt. But it kind of comes with territory of being in the public, whether it's through a blog or a TV show. It's how we handle it that makes the difference :-) And I do admire the way the Duggars seem to let it roll off their backs.
I was completely sickened just like you with the other situation. And chose not to tweet about it because it was so sickening and I just thought it was too serious to tweet about. Just my own personal decision.
While I do agree with you here, this post made me feel a little embarrassed and like a horrible person since I did tweet about Michelle. It came across a little harsh to me. But it's your blog and you can write with whatever style you choose, so I'm trying not to take it personally. I just hope you aren't letting yourself get too worked up about the way people are reacting, because we can't always control the thoughts and actions of others around us. We can only control ourselves, and hope that by our actions, we can positively influence the world around us :-)
I hope this comment did not come across as mean. It's just my thoughts, and I totally won't be offended if you delete it :-)
UGH!!! With the anonymous comments! I really don't even know what to say...
As for the Michelle Duggar thing, personally, I just don't get it. This will be something we differ on. I don't think God is giving them babies. They're having sex. Sex sometimes = babies. It's science, look it up. LOL! (That's an Anchorman quote.) Honestly though, I think 20 children is EXCESSIVE. I think they're nice people. They raise nice children. But it's too damn much. No one needs 20 kids. Just my personal opinion.
As for the other stuff, I couldn't agree with you more. The 20th baby thing is ridiculously unimportant when compared to some of the atrocities happening in the world. People sure get worked up about the wrong stuff, don't they?
It's a post like this that has me nodding and talking to the computer, saying "yes, what she said" and wanting to tell other people to "go read her because that's what I've been turning over in my head but haven't articulated". I agree that priorities are out of whack - I've been thinking about it more and more because there seems to be so much judgment swirling around. And not just online either! Lately I feel like every day there's a new jump to judgment moment, whether it's about pop culture, current events or an individual's life choices. I'm guilty of it myself but it's a habit I want to eliminate because it isn't productive or healthy.
Heya :-) First up - I don't find your writing to be haughty at all, and I'm someone who chooses to vaccinate and will use modern medical remedies. Generally speaking, if I find myself put off by someone's writing style {as opposed to being grossly offended by their content - in which case I just stop reading the blog}, it has to do with me being too sensitive. Just because someone suggests something on their blog or firmly believes that its the right choice for their family doesn't mean that they believe it's the right choice for everyone's family, and that is something you've communicated here time and time again. I read what you write because I like to learn about other options, even if I choose not to use them.
As for the Duggars, I agree that they're opening their lives up to criticism by going on TV, but I also think that they're setting a great example to the world. You can have 20 children, live within your means, and raise them to be wonderful people. That's something praiseworthy, not worthy of criticism.
I could care less about the Duggars.
I chose not to know about the other case.
Therefore, I didn't tweet about either of them.
And for the record, I think certain commenters are confusing passion and confidence with haughtiness. Just sayin.
There were/are people defending Joe Paterno (whatever his name is) and dissing the Duggars on my Facebook....am I missing something? This Coach said he has 16 grandchildren, yet he didn't report the incidences to authorities? Hello...these victims are completely innocent victims. I'm with you; the whole thing makes me sick!
Thank you for this post! I absolutely agree and cannot believe the outrage over the Duggar family. I've watched that show, and they seem like one of the most loving families to be a part of. In this day and age where families can't seem to control two unruly children, I really think some people are just JEALOUS at how well they manage their own family with their OWN money and NO debt. that seems exemplary to me.
You are right on! I like the Duggars and my feeling is, they are taking care of their family themselves. It's really only their business and they have chosen to share it. People are going to criticize but I don't see the point when they aren't being hurt by it.
After tweeting with you this afternoon I had to come look at the comment you mentioned. My thought was, and always has been, that I think you write the way you probably are in person. A person that I would like in person too I'm sure! It sounds like they forget that when you read something you don't necessarily get the same sort of delivery as you would actually talking to the person. That's one of the things with electronic communication, you don't know the real feeling behind it necessarily. Sounds like it's their problem and not yours.
I don't know much about the stories you have written, except what I read here in your post. But again, there will always be such people around. Ignore them, they are not worth thinking of and wasting time over.
Love and hugs :)
Grea post Brittany, we do totally have our priorities messed up.
And those who know the truth and don't do anything are just as guilty. We all make our choices and then we have to live with them. But where is all the attention on the one who actually commited the crime?
thank you. i'm might link to your post somewhere, its that good.
amen
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