A New Kind of Thankful

A couple times this week - after nursing Ella, or putting her to sleep, or laughing at the fact that she's learned to stick out her tongue - I've found myself getting all misty-eyed.

In fact, last night, I positively welled up while changing her diaper as she babbled away at me.

It was, honestly, a little bit surprising.

I can't blame post-partum hormones anymore; she's too old. And I can't even blame exhaustion, as I've acclimated to little sleep by now.

There was no real reason I was crying; I just was.

And, as I started brining my turkey yesterday, it hit me what was going on.

This year, I am just so very thankful for my newest family member.

***

Almost half a year ago, my world changed forever. I got the immense honor of giving birth to my first child - my daughter.

She is, without a doubt, the most amazing little experience, person, and dream-come-true all rolled into one.

Just because of her, I am incredibly, a thousand-times over, blessed.

This year, I have a whole new reason to be thankful.

***

I am a sap.

I cry over a lot of things.

But I cry even more these days when watching my daughter.

I pray she knows how happy she makes me. I pray she knows how much I love her. I pray she knows how wanted she was.

And, more so, I pray that I don't disappoint her as a mother; I pray I'm worthy of this precious little being God placed in our lives.

I am feeling tremendously thankful and tremendously ill-equipped all in one fell swoop to be given this little girl.

***

I thought, by now, I'd have gotten used to these feelings.

I thought I'd be used to being a mom.

But sometimes, I'm still shocked she's here; I'm still shocked I was pregnant, gave birth, met her, and jumped feet first into raising a human being who rocks my world every second of the day.

And, more importantly, I'm still shocked at the love and emotion that overwhelm me every day we're together - every day, as we grow closer and closer as mother and daughter.

I can't believe she's mine. I can't believe I've been entrusted with her. I can't believe someone as inconsequential as me will get to raise this amazing little person.

So, yeah, this Thanksgiving? Thanks to Ella, it's very different for me.

Because this year, Ella has made me a whole new kind of thankful.

***

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families and friends. I am thankful to know you all and count you as friends myself.

Thank you for reading my little piece of the Internet.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! See you all back around here Monday!