Future Unsure

Ten years ago, I thought I knew where I was going.

Granted, I didn't know my husband; I didn't have a college degree; heck, I hadn't even started college yet.

Which means, really, I knew nothing.

Yet, I thought I had it all mapped out.

Go to college. Get a degree. Get a master's degree. Work as a professional woman. Get married. Work a little more. Have babies. Raise babies. Possibly work from home. Retire luxuriously with my husband in a little cabin in the woods.

Bing. Bang. Boom.

Just as if life was like one of my many to-do lists, I had a series of boxes just waiting to be checked off.

Degree? Check.
Job? Check.
Husband? Check.
Babies? Check.

And, for a while there, I stuck to the plan. I graduated college. I got a job.

I even found a husband, though not the one I imagined I'd find.

And, then, life happened.

Jobs were won. Lost. I moved into a profession I never thought I would. And my husband joined the U.S. Navy.

We don't have a baby yet, and we're currently living in a state where I have no family, no long-time friends, and no previous area know-how.

We've diverted way off the course, if you consider my teenage dreams.

So many boxes have yet to be checked.

And, to some extent, I don't know when they will be.

I don't know when we'll be blessed with a baby. I don't know how my career will change and develop, yet again. I don't know what my husband will do once he leaves the U.S. Navy, if he leaves the Navy at all. And I don't know where we'll end up next, let alone where we'll finally settle down and build our "forever home."

Blame the military lifestyle.

Blame the fact that I feel like I literally blinked and realized I wasn't 21 anymore.

But, no matter how you slice it, the life I'd planned out so carefully during my younger years has yet to come to fruition.

I have no idea where I'll be in 10 years.

Not even a clue.

My husband could very well still be a sailor in the Navy. We could have all four of my dream children. We could own a home in the Midwest, the Pacific, or, heck, right here in South Carolina.

Or the hubs could be a civilian again. We could have less or more children than I ever thought possible. We could be day-tripping across the country in a motor home.

The future, it seems, is unsure.

And, frankly, that scares me. The part of me that craves a schedule, craves a plan, craves a list of specific, well-thought-out goals, gets an itch when I realize I may not get my dream house, my dream family, my dream life, when I thought I would. Or, honestly, ever.

But, along with that fear, comes hope.

Hope that, though my life has been uprooted and my checklist's been re-written time and time again, I may get more than I ever thought possible.

I may get a life I never even pictured in my wildest dreams.

And, when I do, I'll sit back, rocking my first, second, third, fourth, or fifth baby, in a house or that rickety old motor home, on a Navy base or in a home all my own, and laugh at that little girl who thought she had it all figured out.

Who thought she knew where she was going and how she was getting there.

Who thought she knew where she'd be in 10 years.

***

Thanks to Aubrey S. at High-Heeled Love, I got to tell this little story. She gifted me with the You're Going Places Award. Thanks so much, girly!
So, now, I'd like to pass this award on to:

1. Alicia at The Diary of a Crazy Wife
2. Brittany at Sweet, Sassy, and oh so Classy
3. Jess at All-American Jess
4. Taryn at Mr. Jones & Me
5. Moe at A Million Margaritas
6. Taylor at Then There Were Three...
7. Amy Lynn at The Un-Wife Housewife Life
8. Steph S. at A Day in the Life of Grad Student's Life
9. Ashlynn at A Cushy Baby Blog
10. Claire at A Peachtree City Life

Go ahead, lovely ladies. Tell us where you think you'll be in 10 years. And then pass it on to 10 of your favorite bloggers.

Happy Thursday everyone!